In today’s world, talking about relationships, whether it’s your own or someone else’s, is a part of everyday (American) culture. We do so with our friends, loved ones, and some even give a glimpse into what their relationship is like online! While we all have varying ideas and beliefs about what a healthy and successful relationship looks like or entails, most times, the idea of inter-abled relationships is far from our radar. But what is an inter-abled relationship? An inter-abled relationship is a relationship with one person who is able-bodied and another who is disabled. Even though this concept may not be a large pill for some to swallow, for some, the idea of an able-bodied person wanting to be in a relationship or somehow loving a disabled person romantically is quite taboo and even unbelievable. There are many misconceptions about disability and romance, as previously discussed in last week’s article, are what contribute to the narrow minded and limited way of thinking- consciously or subconsciously- some of us have when trying to comprehend how an inter-abled relationship might “work”. However, aside from a few ground rules about boundaries, which are necessary in any relationship, inter-abled relationships are no different from able-bodied relationships.
For example, one YouTube couple that I enjoy watching is called “Squirmy and Grubs”. “Squirmy and Grubs” is a channel featuring Shane Burcaw and his (now) wife Hannah Aylward. While Hannah is able-bodied, Shane was born with Spinal Muscular Atrophy, which limits or completely discourages a person’s movement of their muscles due to the loss of nerve cells in the spinal cord and brainstem. As a result of Shane’s disability, he is wheel-chair bound, but that doesn’t stop him or his wife from having a successful, happy and playful marriage. In an interview with the TODAY show, Shane and Hannah normalize their inter-abled relationship and try to raise awareness about relationships and disabilities.
Another great example is "Roll with Cole and Charisma”, an inter-abled YouTube couple who started their vlogging channel to bring people into their lives, relationship, answer questions about how to navigate the world as an inter-abled couple and similar to Shane and Hannah, raise awareness surrounding accessibility and dating in a wheelchair. Cole Sydner met his current wife, Charisma Jamison, at a rehabilitation center. Charisma was a Rehabilitation Technician and Cole, a survivor after hitting his head from taking a deep dive into the James River, met by fate itself! Cole recalls moments after hitting his head and not understanding why his arms and legs were no longer obeying his brain’s commands to swim. Luckily, his friend saw him floundering and retrieved him out of the lake. However, the impact of the hit shattered Cole’s neck and left him a quadriplegic. After spending a few months in at the Shepherd Center in Atlanta, he and Charisma crossed paths upon his arrival at Sheltering Arms Physical Rehabilitation Center in Virginia and the rest was history (Hero Story: Cole Sydnor & Charisma Jamison). Now, the newlyweds dedicate their time to spending time together and on occasion vlogging it for their 200k subscribers.
“Roll with Cole and Charisma” and “Squirmy and Grubs” are just two examples of how inter-abled couples are dispelling misconceptions through social platforms. There are many other couples on and offline showcasing that inter-abled relationships are nothing special compared to other relationships; they argue, laugh, cry, travel, and have children and intimacy. These are the aspects of any relationship and it’s important to recognize the humanity in one’s disability to recognize the normalcy of their relationships.